marrie's meanderings

Long long long ago I did a post about "Babywise" and other Ezzo parenting methods...3 different people have asked me indirectly about Babywise in the past few days...Meaning they were asking in some forum for opinions and experience with it. I *try* not to bash him too much, I try to use restraint...But it's soooo hard. Basically, everything that these people teach parents to do is the direct opposite of what I believe is good for babies and children. When we attended the parenting classes "Growing Kids God's Way" I was HORRIFIED by the suggestion that kids are born manipulators and that we need to "beat the sin out of them so they can go to heaven"...Really? And the whole Jesus thing? What was that about?

And I swear, if I hear one more person defending the methods in "'Babywise" and GKGW by saying "Well of course you can't take it to the extreme" or "You have to pay attention to your baby" I'll scream...The whole point of the book is that you CANT trust your instincts to nurture your baby when they cry because that's just your baby "manipulating you" and if you give in to them they'll be spoiled and (in the Christian version) sinful. Forget that babies are born innocent, forget that they have no other way to communicate, forget that they have tiny little tummies and how would YOU feel if you were hungry and asked for food and someone ignored you and said "Don't try and manipulate me"? Forget all that, and look at what Ezzo is saying for a minute. Follow my methods correctly and your baby will sleep through the night and your life will be easier. Do exactly what I say...And if anything goes wrong it's because YOU didn't do it right.

And then I also wonder, when there are SOOO many parenting books out there, why chose the one that needs a disclaimer? Why not choose one that you can follow to a T if that's your personality type, and not risk your baby's life? Why choose the one that the AAP and the state of California have expressed reservations about? Why choose the one that Dr. James Dobson of Focus on the Family has spoken against?

Failure to thrive, crying until their throats bleed, slapping kids hands with a rigid object for "blowing raspberries" and "playing with their food" at less than one year of age...Even if these things aren't in the most "Up to date" version of Babywise, why would anyone want to follow the advice of a man who EVER suggested methods that lead to these things?

Oh, wait, it makes being a parent easier. hmmmm.

Maybe that's harsh, maybe they are just misled, maybe they don't know what they are doing will hurt their babies, dry up their milk (if they are breast feeding) and lead their children to mistrust the world around them. That's why I don't hold my tongue. That's why I don't preach all that I think about Babywise, that's why I say, "Google it and decide for yourself" because you catch more flies with honey and people SHOULD make their own choice.

But here, on my blog, I can get as pissed off as I want about it, because I feel bad for all those little babies, and the parents who thought they were doing the "right" things by taking this guys advice only to find out later they were starving their babies. It just makes me so mad. Maybe I sound like a crazy person, but it's how I feel, and I don't feel like I can give a complete answer when people ask about it on most forums, but here, I can tell the truth.
http://www.ezzo.info/Aney/aneyaap.htm

http://www.nospank.net/granju2.htm

http://www.ezzo.info/Articles/ezzo-babywise-controversy-101.htm

http://alyssaroupp.wordpress.com/2007/07/27/babywise/

http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/pregnancy_childbirth/63063

I don't have the time to list all my concerns, so here are some links that have important info, IMO.